Never ask a new mom …

Women are sensitive creatures. Add to that raging hormones and sleep deprivation and it’s an explosive cocktail. Even the most mundane of questions can lead to tears or irrational anger and so I’ll do everyone a favor and break down two minefields.
1 – never ask if the baby is “a good baby”
To say “no” means your baby is bad. Babies are neither good nor bad. They cry. They poop (on you sometimes). They eat a lot (at inconvenient times). They do these things not with intent but because they are trying to survive and thrive.
Questioning whether a baby is good or bad somehow indicates a purposeful behavior that you as a parent can somehow control. And new moms feel perhaps above all else like they already don’t have control. If their baby is colicky and fussy chances are she already blames herself.
2 – never ask if she’s getting any sleep
She’s not. Don’t make her lie. And if she does get a full night’s sleep don’t act like it makes up for a sleep deficit that’s greater than the national debt.
Check for a future post on the questions every mom would love for you to ask.

Wilder having a “good” moment


About Amanda Jean Elliott

I am a joyful believer in Jesus Christ, a mother, a sister, a writer, a maker of gluten free roux and a style editor. I love my son Wilder and the wild life that comes with a 4-year-old who has the energy of a pack of wolves. I also love naps (a lot). I love to cook and create my favorite dishes without gluten not because I'm trendy and anti-gluten so much as it makes me feel like I've been run over by a pack of wolves. I teach 5th and 6th grade girls Sunday School and have a classroom of the greatest girls I could imagine. Girls who often teach me more than I teach them. I believe these girls and many others are the spark to start a fire for The Lord the likes of which this world has never seen. I see more and more girls learning about more than just who God is ... but, learning about who God says THEY are. It is my prayer for every woman to know without doubt that we have a good good Father in heaven and whatever is not right on this earth, He will make right in this life or the next.
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2 Responses to Never ask a new mom …

  1. Kayla says:

    Amen about the “good baby” and sleep questions! Usually those “good baby” questions are asking if your baby sleeps. And what if he doesn’t? Does that make him a bad baby? There are no good answers to either of those questions, and all they do is make a mom feel guilty if things aren’t going “perfectly” according to some old biddy’s definition.

    Wilder is adorable, and I hope you are having a blast with him!

    • Exactly! One of the books I read by an English baby nurse said the obsession with super young babies sleeping through the night is an American phenomenon. It really is. My favorite thing is when someone who had a child before the era of the sleep monitor says their baby never cried and slept all night … Those babies were probably screaming all night and they had no idea lol

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